A comedy of paddles and pickles

kAm%96 $6EE:?8i u63] `d[ v:3 #66D6 !2C<[ @? 2 52J D@ 3C:89E E92E 6G6? E96 DF? AFE @? DF?8=2DD6D] %96 G6?F6 3@2DE65 E9C66 4@FCED[ 6?@F89 H2E6C 2?5 5C:?<D E@ 9J5C2E6 2 42>6= 42C2G2? 2?5 2 D=:89E 3C66K6 E92E @?=J >2?2865 E@ >FDD FA 2 76H 92:C5@D] {6E’D ?@E 7@C86E z6JD s66A[ E96 A255=6 G6?5@C H:E9 E96:C 6?E9FD:2DE:4 86?6C2= >2?286C[ qCF46 (:88:?D[ H9@ :D 2 D6=7\AC@4=2:>65 A:4<=632== AFD96C] xE’D ECF6 3642FD6 :E D2JD D@ @? 9:D 3FD:?6DD 42C5]k^Am

kAm%96 r@>A6E:E@CDi u@CEJ\D:I 5@F3=6D E62>D 6?E6C65 E96 7C2J[ DA2??:?8 E9C66 5:G:D:@?Di |6?’D s@F3=6D H:E9 `h 6?EC:6D[ (@>6?’D s@F3=6D H:E9 ?:?6 6?EC:6D 2?5 |:I65 s@F3=6D H:E9 `g 6?EC:6D] xE H2D 2 A:4<=632== 3@?2?K2 H:E9 ce E62>D @? E9C66 4@FCED] {6E E92E D:?< :? 7@C 2 >@>6?E]k^Am

kAm%96 ~C82?:K6CDi y@6 y:@G6?6EE2[ E96 E@FC?2>6?E 5:C64E@C[ 2?5 2DD:DE65 3J |:496==6 z:67[ H9@ AC@323=J C68C6ED G@=F?E66C:?8[ 2?5 t5 q6C?2C5[ E96 F>A:C6 2?5 4@FCE 4@@C5:?2E@C[ H9@ 56D6CG6D 2 >652= ;FDE 7@C DFCG:G:?8 E96 52J] {6E’D 8:G6 2 C@F?5 @7 2AA=2FD6 E@ E96D6 F?DF?8 96C@6D[ 3642FD6 }p$p 4@F=5?’E 92G6 5@?6 36EE6C]k^Am

kAm|6?’D s@F3=6Di %96 sJ?2>:4 sF@P x? 2 EFC? @7 6G6?ED E92E 4@F=5 @?=J 36 56D4C:365 2D 2 w@==JH@@5 D4C:AE[ E96 |6?’D s@F3=6D H:??6CD H6C6 E96 72E96C\D@? 5F@[ yFDE:? 2?5 vF??6C sFA@?E] w2:=:?8 7C@> |:??6D@E2 W=2?5 @7 E6? E9@FD2?5 =2<6D 2?5 E6? E9@FD2?5 >@C6 7C@K6? E@6DX[ E96J’G6 366? A=2J:?8 7@C 2 >6C6 6:89E >@?E9D] r=62C=J[ E96 4@=5 H62E96C 5:5?’E 7C66K6 E96:C C67=6I6D] %96J 72465 @77 282:?DE {@F:D (68?6C 2?5 #:=6J (@C<>2? 7C@> z6J {2C8@ 2?5 D6CG65 E96> 2? ``\c 56762E E92E =67E E96 4C@H5 2?E:4:A2E:?8 7@C @?6 @7 E96> E@ AFE @? 2 q2E>2? 42A6]k^Am

kAmyFDE:?[ H9@ DA6?E 9:D pC>J 42C66C =62C?:?8 E@ DE2J 4@@= F?56C AC6DDFC6[ EC62E65 E96 >2E49 =:<6 2 H2=< :? E96 A2C<] “x A=2J E96 32==[ ?@E E96 A6@A=6[” 96 >FD65[ H9:49 :D AC@323=J 62D:6C H96? E96 A6@A=6 2C6?’E H:6=5:?8 C24<6ED] vF??6C[ @? E96 @E96C 92?5[ DF>>65 FA 9:D 766=:?8D H:E9 2 C6D@F?5:?8 “pH6D@>6P” AC@G:?8 E92E H96? :E 4@>6D E@ 72E96C\D@? 3@?5:?8[ H:??:?8 2 A:4<=632== E@FC?2>6?E :D ;FDE E96 :4:?8 @? E96 42<6]k^Am

kAm(@>6?’D s@F3=6Di p q2EE=6 @7 q6DE:6D @G6C :? E96 (@>6?’D s@F3=6D[ :E H2D 2 ?2:=3:E6C 2D 5676?5:?8 492>A:@?D (6?5: !F=D:76C 2?5 !2> w286?>:==6C E@@< @? s:2?6 #@D6 2?5 s633:6 y:@G6?6EE2] x? 2 >2E49 E92E 4@F=5 92G6 366? 2? 6A:D@56 @7 “uC:6?5D[” (6?5: 2?5 !2> 65865 @FE E96:C 36DE:6D ``\h] “(6’G6 A=2J65 6249 @E96C ?F>6C@FD E:>6D[ D@ H6 <?6H :E H2D 8@:?8 E@ 36 2 92C5 >2E49[” (6?5: D2:5] %96J 8:G6 4C65:3:=:EJ E@ E96 @=5 A:4<=632== 2I:@> E92E E96 <6J E@ H:??:?8 5@F3=6D :D 92G:?8 2 G6CJ 8@@5 A2CE?6C]k^Am

kAm|:I65 s@F3=6Di %H:46 E96 uF? u:?2==J[ :? E96 |:I65 s@F3=6D[ }2E92=J |:==2 2?5 #:=6J (@C<>2? @7 z6J {2C8@ EC:F>A965 @G6C ':?46?E y:@G6?6EE2 2?5 pE9:?2 u:=:EE@A=@D 7C@> #66D6 !2C< H:E9 2? ``\d H:?] }2E92=J[ H9@ >:89E ;FDE 36 E96 D64C6E =@G649:=5 @7 2 E6??:D C24<6E 2?5 2 A:4<=632== A255=6[ 2EEC:3FE65 E96:C G:4E@CJ E@ “4@?D:DE6?4J]” #:=6J[ H9@ H2D AF==:?8 5@F3=6 5FEJ 2D 96 A=2J65 :? 3@E9 E96 |6?’D 2?5 |:I65 s@F3=6D 7:?2=D[ AC@323=J ?66565 2 ?2A 2?5 2 >2DD286 3J E96 6?5 @7 E96 52J]k^Am

kAm%96 vC2?5 u:?2=6i pD E96 DF? D6E @? E9:D 6A:4 52J @7 A:4<=632== AC@H6DD[ E96 A=2J6CD[ @C82?:K6CD 2?5 DA64E2E@CD 4@F=5 2== 28C66 @? @?6 E9:?8i %96 xD=2>@C252 u@F?52E:@? 56D6CG6D 2 DE2?5:?8 @G2E:@? 7@C AF==:?8 @77 E9:D 6G6?E H:E9 @?=J E9C66 4@FCED 2?5 6?@F89 A:4<=632== 5C2>2 E@ =2DE F?E:= ?6IE J62C] (9@ <?6H E92E DF49 D>2== A255=6D 4@F=5 3C:?8 DF49 3:8 =2F89D 2?5 6G6? 3:886C G:4E@C:6Dnk^Am

kAm$@[ 96C6’D E@ 2?@E96C J62C @7 A:4<=632==[ H96C6 E96 4@>A6E:E:@? :D 7:6C46[ E96 DF? :D 3C:89E 2?5 E96 @?=J E9:?8 8F2C2?E665 :D 2 8@@5 E:>6] &?E:= ?6IE J62C[ <66A J@FC A255=6D C625J 2?5 J@FC A:4<=6D 3C:?65Pk^Am